By Patrick Beach
Austin American-Statesman
Sept. 22, 2003


It's the end of the fest as we know it and we feel like recapping the highs, lows and 'oh, nos!'

Weirdest question asked information-dispensing volunteers Claudia and Matt Cowperthwaite: 'Somebody asked us why men have nipples.' (Matt) 'And how many Scoville units some kind of hot pepper had.' (Claudia)

Best evidence of genius being recognized in the land that spawned it: The big crowd at Spoon's set Friday night.

Best elevation of chicken tenders to an art form: The crunchy chicken-cole slaw tortilla cones from Hudson's on the Bend.

Most unwelcome surprise: Paying $4.50 ATM charge to get own dang money.

Best emergency deployment of a white suit: Al Green when the lights failed.

Best overlooked stadium anthem: Robert Earl Keen's 'Corpus Christi Bay.'

Rumor born of greatest frustration: Dwight Yoakam's tour bus delaying the shuttles Friday night.

Poorest substitute for Bitter End-quality beer: Heineken.

Million-dollar idea: Portable johns for toddlers who take a loooooong time to go potty.

Moment that made men young and old swoon: Liz Phair takes the Capital Metro Stage.

Most ubiquitous fashion statement: Obviously new cowboy hats.

Best crowd flag: Bleeding Gums Murphy from 'The Simpsons.'

Most surprising thing left at Lost and Found: Baby Olivia's breast milk.

Only possible way Los Lobos could be upstaged: Cash tribute at same time.

Painful truth on public display at Cash tribute: Luther Dickinson really, really can't sing.

Winner of the 'Hey! Look Who Played Austin!' Award: Patty Griffin.

Most out-of-place fan: Aging metalhead in Judas Priest T-shirt at Patty Griffin.

Most brutally early unleashing of party anthem: Bob Schneider doing 'Fight for Your Right' at 1:20 p.m. Sunday.

Least anticipated physical sensation: Feeling almost cool outside in the middle of the day Saturday.

Most flattering moment for many: People over 40 got asked for IDs from the alcohol wristband dude.

Vague metathought about Jumbotrons: Later we might watch on TV what we watched live on TV.

Approximate number of times Lucinda Williams said a very bad word after flubbing the lines to 'Bleeding Fingers': Six.

What organizers must have been thinking when scheduling The Polyphonic Spree: 'By Sunday, this'll seem normal.'

Lame reason compiler of this list had to miss Steve Earle on Friday: Jury duty